Teenage Snark and its Place in Modern Society

Little is known of the teenage years of this willowy blonde whose raven locks adorned the covers of dozens of high class publications before she had attained the age of maturity. “A face to launch a thousand ships; a tongue to sink a thousand more,” as one wag put it (introducing her to the value of snark).

Much of her family’s considerable fortune, rumored to be acquired through the exploitation of the (now-extinct) ivory quilted wombat, was eventually squandered in paying out-of-court settlements to Lloyd’s of London and other transatlantic fleet insurance firms.

Time Passed

As it often does.

wedding bells

Wedding bells ring, often.

With wartime rationing demolishing good portions of the remainder of her family fortune and inheritance, Mizz Lisabeth-Anne Snark found herself at loose ends and without a positive cash flow. While MSS might have found gainful employment and a promising career as a groundhog watcher and dog fur upholsterer/weaver, she pursued more immediate success by mastering the game of what is now called “Marrying Money Monopoly.” Do not pass Go.

While this game yielded quite impressive results, Mizz Lisabeth-Anne (Smith Hughes Langford Weatherly Smith (no relation) Putnam Albemarle Smythe Garcia-y-Montoya Lee Smith (yes, the first) Chapman Deatheridge Maxwell Choate Piper Goldsmith Lincoln Abbo0t) Snark found herself suddenly out of the marital marathon game when, between the 18th (Lincoln) and 19th (Abbot) spouses, there commenced an intercontinental delay of paperwork which caused MSS to inadvertently commit bigamy. Quelle red-in-le-face.

The Snark Begins in Earnest

Left to her own devices after the departure of her 19th husband, Mizz Lisabeth-Anne Snark la’de’da’d, figured it was time to put pen to parchment and air her true feelings about the world, in general, and the people who inhabit it, in particular.

“I’ll never be hungry for news again!” she expounded while munching on a wild truffle she dug out of her backyard garden in Bel Air. The nickname, Snarkity, landed in mid-bite, and stuck – with the exception of times when it has needed duct tape and occasional bits of Elmer’s glue.