Mizz Taylor Swift is in a terrible pickle. It’s almost shop-or-hide time for the dear child. How many dresses does this poor thing have now?
“Hundreds. Because I’m in a predicament where I can’t wear a dress twice or else it’s pointed out in magazines, so”—she starts laughing—”unfortunately I have to shop for dresses all the time.”
Does Mizz Snarkity Snark have the least bit of sympathy for this poor creature? Of course! MSS is painfully aware of the stress and strain that celebrity can bring to one of such a tender age.
Never mind that we celebrities make reee-DONK-ulous bushels of money for our talents, sponsorships, appearances and endorsements, and for dating former famous people’s grandchildren and then writing songs about the breakups. La!—all part of the price we pay when celebrity waves its evil magic wand.
Mizz Taylor Swift, Take Heart!
But, even as Mizz Snarkity Snark is feeling your pain, dear Mizz Taylor Swift, she is offering a solution. Back during the last century, and perhaps even before! the service of talented people called “Personal Shoppers” became available to those of us burdened with our celebrity.
Petrified of encountering a paparazzi or ten, we celebrities send this intrepid souls off into shopping hell on our behalf, measurements and preferences in hand and armed with appropriate funds. There, these brave sorts will shop tirelessly, returning with frocks of every wonderment and delight for our unending pleasure.
Better to Give than to Receive
For those terrible dread days when your closet overflows with all those dresses you can only wear once, there are places which will take your spare hardly-even-ever-used garments —and MSS faints at the thought of the accumulated value— and donate them to those who aren’t in position to date millionaires.
So, see, Mizz Taylor Swift? There is hope! You’ve no need to shoulder this burden all on your lonesome. Your adoring public is ready, willing and able to assist!
Much love to each of you. Especially Mizz Taylor Swift, who is by all accounts one savvy businesswoman and who probably already knows all about Personal Shoppers. But, hey, wouldn’t be Mizz Snarkity Snark if she didn’t take advantage of every opportunity to educate!