Testing the (International) Waters
Alaska, Canada and Russia reached agreement this afternoon to form the Three Alaska Empire, as follows:
- Russia will now be known as Alaska West.
- Canada will now be known as Alaska South.
- National health care will be extended to any resident of each of the Alaskas, modeled after the former Canadian health care program.
- Headquarters for the Three Alaska Empire will be in a 30-foot RV, parked in Anchorage this year, moving to Moscow next year, and then to Vancouver BC.
“In a surprise move, all 3,552 citizens of Wyoming got together and annexed Utah, Colorado, Nebraska, Montana and the lower half of Idaho. The new nation has been named “Caldera” and is being funded by exports from the diamond mines discovered outside Cody after last year’s minor earthquake swarm in Yellowstone Continental Park.”
“Nineteen members of Delaware’s standing Secession Army were arrested in a secession recession regression “ROLL BACK PRICES” support flash-mob event on the outskirts of Dover last night. The other five Secession Army members are taking up a collection for bail.”
Canada (now known as Alaska South) reaches out in support of North Dakota, Washington State and the panhandle of Idaho, and provides a border-shifting lifeline. “You’re part of Alaska South now if you want, eh? So, be polite.” “Hey, you there, not wearing plaid? You’re not wearing plaid. Please go change and wear plaid. Thanks. Have a nice day, eh!”