Violence Attributed to Woman Power to Dress Self

Fr. Piero Corsi
Fr. Piero Corsi

Fr. Piero Corsi of San Terenzo parish before being sent for a time-out on retreat by his boss, poses for his fifteen minutes of fame photograph, now found on Facebook.

When it comes to violence, women hold all the cards, according to a Catholic priest in remote Italy. Emulating Luther (not Vandross), Father Piero Corsi posted an inflammatory Christmas missive to the front door of his church in San Terenzo, which read in part:

How often do we see girls and mature women going around scantily dressed and in provocative clothes?

They provoke the worst instincts, which end in violence or sexual abuse. They should search their consciences and ask: did we bring this on ourselves?

There is little to the rumor that the Roman Catholic Church (or at least one member thereof) has joined forces with Missouri Republican spinmeister Mister Todd Akin, whose definition of “legitimate rape” made headlines around the world in late October 2012.

MSS forgives the padre’s grammatical lapses, caused no doubt by woman power.

Violence Provoked by Woman’s Power to Serve Cold Meals

Where Mister Akin insisted that women were powerful enough to prevent pregnancy in the face of “legitimate rape,” Father Piero Corsi of San Terenzo in northwest Italy claims, in his Christmas message posted on Facebook by members of his congregation, that women are powerful enough to “incite sexual violence on themselves” since there is no way that men have just “gone mad.”

Is it possible that all of a sudden men have gone mad? We don’t believe it.

The fact is that women are increasingly provocative, they become arrogant, they believe themselves to be self-sufficient and end up exacerbating the situation.

Children are abandoned to their own devices, homes are dirty, meals are cold or fast food, clothes are filthy.

Mizz Snarkity Snark believes that such accusations have rarely been brought forth since the much-publicized kidnapping of Helen of Troy, whose famous woman powers brought on a decade of war (during which she herself remained about 20 years old and launch a thousand ships).

Violence Caused by Woman’s Power to Present Awards

Mizz Snarkity Snark feels it is her duty to come up with an appropriate violence-free award for this so-last-last-last-century thinking, which she calls the “Narrow-Mindedness Accolade” and to bestow the first ever award upon Fr. Corsi, who is now taking a rest, possibly at the recommendation of his boss, Bishop Luigi Ernesto Palletti, who is reported to have said that Corsi’s words were “unacceptable and go against the church’s common feeling on the matter.”

Violence is Woman’s Arrogance Tied to Self-Sufficiency

MSS believes that Father Corsi has, respectfully, gone off his rocker, and is using her considerable Woman Powers to resist laughing out loud and rudely at such an obvious display of silliness.

Besides, everyone knows that we Women of Power use our powers for good. Just ask Eleanor Roosevelt. Florence Nightingale. Sarah Palin. Tina Fey. Lady Jane Seymour. Ayn Rand. Cleopatra. Hillary Clinton.

Much love to each of you. Those daring calf-length skirts must go, dahling. Down to the ankle, Tout de Suite! No powerful influences allowed.


Author’s Note: There is nothing funny about violence, against women, men, humans – or anything else. Don’t mistake this light-hearted satirical discourse for this author’s approval or skip-to-my-lou happy outlooks on the topic.