Marijuana Losing Status as Evil Scary Gateway Drug

marijuana leaf

Marijuana became legal in Washington State while nobody was looking.

marijuana leaf

Marijuana leaf. Not oregano.

Mizz Snarkity Snark was tickled green to see I-502 pass while everybody was shouting about all the big ticket ballot items like Obama versus Romney, Ryan versus Biden, FEMA versus Big Bird, paper versus plastic.

Legalizing marijuana is the end of civilization, said nobody, anywhere, ever.

Medical Marijuana Users May Lose Quite a Few “Best Friends”

What astounds MSS more than how long it has taken to legalize pot -somewhere- is how many purportedly broke governmental entities had not figured out how to monetize marijuana already.

A dozen wars could be funded by taxes raised on the backs of the pot industry. (Although just how many people would actually feel up to going off and fighting them is a question for another day. Duuude. Fight..? oh nooo, we don’t need to fight, dude.)

Save Oregano Harvests

Proactive education will lead to informed consumers who will no longer be at risk of getting caught with their rolling papers full of the wrong sort of ‘herb.’ Those who used to make a healthy living off selling lawn clippings to the neophyte marijuana-wannabe consumer will find themselves laughed off the street corner.

Legitimize Marijuana Cottage Industries

No longer will furtive growers have to hide their crops in national and state parks, and there will be no more call to have to sneak their harvest out on dangerous midnight “hay runs.”

There will, of course, need to be a new take on impairment laws, dependence counseling, a whole new spider web of help lines. New cautionary tales and urban legends will need to be made up, vetted through Snopes.com and spread appropriately.

But MSS is sure there are eager ready-to-be-employed persons up for the grueling task. There’ll be taxes and regulations to write, new lecture circuits to plan, a major shift in acceptance to orchestrate.

Billboards to deploy. “True Facts” pamphlets to write and distribute. School campaigns to choreograph. Quality assurance testing! Tourism to manage and monetize!

Of course, MSS speculates wildly and has no idea what she’s talking about.

Much love to each of you. Stay thirsty, my friends.

The Truth about the Electoral College, Weed

electoral college explained

After so much divisive press and political chum on the shark-infested waters, Mizz Snarkity Snark is glad for a wee bright light in the post-election storm clouds.

Here, therefore, without further interruption, is the New York Times’ video guide to the Electoral College’s true impact on election results.

Stay Tuned for New, Even More Topical Snark

MSS promises to be back with typical topical acerbic wit — or half wit — before you run out of post-election kettle corn.

Needless to say, there will be plenty of snark to go around. Except in Colorado, where in a stroke of governmental genius, someone got marijuana onto the ballot – and it won. Is anyone taking bets on the population increase in Colorado next year? Housing starts? Employment rates?

Ganja Legislation, Meet Junk Food Reform

Nobody seems to have thought to combine this electoral magic with a balancing legislation pertaining to junk food. Can’t get too close to that perpetual motion machinery. No sirree. Bob. (Pass me those Fritos, dude. I’m STARving.)

MSS is not going to even try to explain that one, although she will not hesitate to cite a few of the hundreds of “Rocky Mountain High” jokes floating around at the approximate altitude of some of its smokers.

Much love to each of you. Thank you for not slaughtering each other in the post-election fog of war.