Romney Admits It’s Possible Obama Could Win

A win announced as possible
A win announced as possible

Republican presidential candidate and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney greets supporters during a campaign rally at the International Exhibition Center in Cleveland, Sunday Nov. 4, 2012.
(Credit: AP Photo/Jerome Delay)

Mizz Snarkity Snark brings you this late-breaking midnight snark snack courtsey of – wait for it (no, it’s not Romney) – Associated Press, who reported sometime earlier today in Cleveland that:

CLEVELAND (AP) — Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney says he may be defeated by President Barack Obama in Tuesday’s presidential contest, but it’s doubtful.

Speaking at an Ohio rally Sunday afternoon, Romney said that it’s possible, but not likely that Obama will win. He was responding to supporters who booed when he speculated on the consequences of an Obama second term.

There. A direct quote from the top of the article found trending on Yahoo a few minutes ago by MSS, who paused long enough to giggle before clipping it carefully for the bird cage lining stack — which is strange only insomuch as MSS does not have a bird.

Now, seeing as how this is merely a snark snack, MSS will not delay to overthink this win win reportage, except to note that the headline under which this was published on Yahoo reads:

Romney: ‘It’s possible’ Obama could win

Dear Associated Press: Are we having a Wishful Thinking moment? Have you not about the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy? Here were two chances to get the point across – one neutral to the cause, and one softly nudging the fact that Romney is not running unopposed, out in the sleepy eyes of a Daylight-savings-time redacted nation.

And you chose the not-neutral one.

For this, dear Associated Press, an institution I both respect and admire, you receive the much-vaunted, always desired “WTF Were You Thinking!?” Award for Sunday, Nov. 4.

MSS will be glad to have the award engraved – please specify if you wish it personalized to “Miss Associated” or to “Mr. Press.”

Much love to each of you. Every single sleep-deprived one of you. Seriously. And please forgive MSS’ lack of use and, forsooth, even understanding of the much-vaunted AP Style. MSS is writing this Gangnam Style.

 

Team Romney Disaster Recovery a ‘Triumphal Performance’

stacks of storm relief
stacks of storm relief

Fake it ’til you make it?

Disaster recovery for the 21st Century has arrived.

Mizz Snarkity Snark hears that Massachusetts Governor and budding Event Planner Mitt Romney and his merry band of campaign promises staged a disaster recovery effort worthy of the finest performance of Swan Lake.

Since Team Romney felt it was too soon to put their boss man back in campaign mode, Mr MR got morphed into a disaster recovery specialist for a day or so.

Peek into Disaster Recovery Post-FEMA

MSS figures this is the Mitt’s FEMA replacement plan:

All political candidates on the campaign trail during a federal disaster will stop kissing babies immediately, will muster all troops to the nearest discount warehouse or big box store, buy a face-saving number of relief supplies, and stage them in such a way that motivational photo ops can be printed up and published.

State, local and national news crews and all available weather broadcasters are to be deployed everywhere for the duration to observe all relief events and act as repeaters and to drum up interest.

Meanwhile, local first responders unaffiliated with the former FEMA are free to do their best to actually render assistance to disaster victims and communities. When You Hear Hoofbeats, Watch Out for Excrement

In recognition of the unmistakeable odor of equine droppings, MSS reserves a special “WTF Were You Thinking” award for the entire Team Romney team. Go, Team.

MSS is rather sure she hears hoofbeats in the distance, not too far from the campaign trail.

Much love to each of you. Especially first-responders and hopefully not future former FEMA folk.

Obama vs Romney Debate Dance-Off, Gangnam Style

Election Dance-off, Romney vs Obama
Election Dance-off, Romney vs Obama

Election Debate Dance-Off, Romney vs Obama.
Settle this like real men: On the dance floor.

 

Romney Style Obama Style

Let the Debate Dance-Off Begin

Gentlemen (and I use the term loosely):

Your moderator is Mizz Lisabeth-Anne “Snarkity” Snark, blogger and social commentarian. Each candidate has two minutes to answer their targeted debate question, in the key of C. Each debate question will be followed by one-minute responses in the key of F or the key of B-flat. The audience has agreed to keep applause, booing, tomato-tossing, commentary and snickering to a minimum for the duration of this debate.

And may the oddities be ever in your favor.
MSS

Debate Disclaimer

Hi. I’m Mizz Lisabeth-Anne “Snarkity” Snark, and I don’t approve of either of these messages.

Much love to y’all, and do whatever it takes to get out and vote. Even if you have to swim.

Disaster Relief Spending Immoral per Romney

Disaster spending immoral

While Mizz Snarkity Snark is not above taking the occasional soundbite out of context in order to make a point, there was no need today when, upon stumbling over this gem of an outtake in Grist.org, MSS discovered that Not-yet-Prez Romney stated today that Federal disaster relief spending is “immoral.”

Disaster relief spending immoral

Disaster relief spending immoral? Do presidential campaigns qualify as disasters? If that’s the case, MSS would agree. That’s immoral.

… What are we doing that we don’t have to do, and those things we’ve gotta stop doing. Mitt Romney @ on CNN 10/30/12

What HO! Surely Mr MR cannot be referring to the current state of the East Coast of these United States of America, mid- and post-Sandy, as unqualified for federal disaster relief. Perhaps he was banking on a few million voters being without power when he made this statement, so they would not be influenced to vote for The Other Guy.

Every time we have an occasion to take something from the Federal government, and send it back to the States, that’s the right direction. And if you can go even further and send it back to the private sector, that’s even better. Romney @ on CNN 10/30/12

NJ Sez: Please Send Some Immoral Disaster Relief ASAP

Let us ignore for the moment that several of those State levels to which Mr MR proposes sending that are teetering on the edge of imminent bankruptcy and diminishing tax potential.

Let us also ignore for the moment the number of private sector entities sitting without power at this moment within the teetering walls of New York City and could probably use some disaster relief themselves.  Wait. Let’s not ignore that.

Please note that MSS is not engaging in, nor offering to engage in, political debate. Recognizing the horror of that statement in the wake of Hurricane-Tropical Storm-Post-TS-Superstorm Sandy is not political. It’s humanitarian.

Much love to you all. Stay dry, stay warm, stay well.