Letter from a Broad

Haversham and I are still honeymooning at a leisurely pace, soon to land in Antigua, or is that Amsterdam, Atlanta?
Haversham and I are still honeymooning at a leisurely pace, soon to land in Antigua, or is that Amsterdam, Atlanta?

Haversham and I are still toiling away through our cruise at a leisurely pace, soon to land in Antigua, or is that Amsterdam? Atlanta? Atlantis?

Dahling! I have missed you so, these past few months – or has it been days? Time loses its grip when one is not paying attention.

You were, of course, in my thoughts while we watched the migrating flocks of panda south of Helsinki, basked in the dulcet perpetual moonlight on the beaches of Antarctica, and scaled the notable glaciers of Okefenokee. (I swear I shall never hike in open-toe Louboutins again!)

And -YES!- you crossed my mind so vividly as I sipped a delicate Chardonnay within the well appointed tea room of the Saint Septimus Stygius Borgia Whoever-that-was Chapel somewhere east of Vatican City last week —or was it February? Did you know that it doesn’t snow much at all in the Mediterranean region in August? I was shocked, I tell you. And here we were all prepared for a lovely ski break in Malta.

And when crossing back across the Bering Strait on the 4pm ferry, watching the wild smoked salmon leap their way to freedom atop the backs of gracefully paddling polar lizards, how could I not think of you, my dearest darling?

I swear I haven’t been able to write a WORD since that dreadful election scandal. I canceled all our magazines and newspapers so we wouldn’t have to read a whit of gossip and backbiting from dear old hometown Beverly Hills California US of A, which of course we miss terribly.

Haversham and I were simply devastated to hear about the utterly ridiculous healthcare situation you have been enduring. Please do get better soon. Anti-socialized medicine is such a bore.

And do stay in touch, dahling!  While we’re still making our way around the globe, I’ve made arrangements for a young lad to run missives to and from the port authority offices when (IF) we land. Your letters will surely catch up to me soon.

MWAH!

Much love to you. Miss you so much! Mean it!!

Restaurateur Passing Obamacare Costs to Diners

Video, John Metz imposes surcharge on restaurant customers to cover Obamacare costs

Mizz Snarkity Snark stumbled over this little twist on Obamacare in the hospitality biz this morning and nearly choked on her vanilla chai snark-laced tea:

While some business owners threaten to cut workers’ hours to avoid paying for their health care, a West Palm Beach, Fla., restaurant owner is going even further. John Metz said he will add a 5 percent surcharge to customers’ bills to offset what he said are the increased costs of Obamacare, along with reducing his employees’ hours. (Huffington Post, Nov.14)

The restaurant in question? Denny’s. The man’s curriculum vitae? Metz is the franchisor of Hurricane Grill & Wings, which has 48 locations, five of which are corporate owned, and president and owner of RREMC Restaurants, which runs approximately 40 Denny’s and several Dairy Queen locations.

Denny’s, DQ, Obamacare, Surcharge, Florida

So, MSS deduces that if you’re a Denny’s diner in a bit of Florida, you might just pay for Obamacare at least twice: Once for that yummy breakfast of hog ‘n eggs and once for Obamacare care itself, and thrice if your own employer passes Obamacare costs on to you.

MSS does not claim to understand Obamacare. No matter what she reads about it, the words get all blurry-fuzzy and her poor snark-attuned brain turns to Meyer Lemon marmalade.

Once again, twice in the space of a mere month, MSS laments the passing of William F. Buckley Jr., one of the few humans besides Stephen Hawking (too busy inventing space) and Al Gore (too busy reinventing the Internet) who would have understood Obamacare and explained it to the rest of us mere mortals.

But Mizz Snarkity Snark digresses, and poorly at that.

Any National Health Plan That Starts with “It’s very simple, really,” Isn’t.

Mizz Snarkity Snark would like to leave you, Gentle Reader, with these critical thoughts from her own marmalade brain:

  • Did the esteemed President Woodrow Wilson have his hands on the Treaty of Versailles? or the Treaty of Wilson?
  • Was President Abraham Lincoln known as the Great Emancipator? or the Great Abraham?
  • President Theodore Roosevelt crafts the New Teddy

    President Theodore “Happy Guy” Roosevelt crafts the New Teddy.

    Did the wondrously mustachioed President Theodore Roosevelt craft the New Deal? or the New Teddy?

Perhaps the newly re-elected President Barack Obama would want to urge renaming Obamacare to something less linked to his time(s) in office. Perhaps he should change the name of Obamacare to Club Med. The ramifications could be amusing.

Much love to each of you. Stay healthy, my friend. Or perhaps skip the Denny’s meals with the side of Obamacare.