Brrrring brrrring. Brrring brrring.
Mizz Snarkity Snark picks up the phone and answers politely. A nice polite female voice responds, “Greetings! How are you today?”
“Just fine,” MSS responds. “What can I do for you today?”
“OH, I wanted to call and thank you for completing that survey the other day for (deleted).” MSS can almost hear the voice’s owner smiling through the telephone sales receiving device.
“Very welcome,” MSS smiles back.
“Since you took the time, we’d like to thank you by sending you a $100 gift card for (huge discount big box store), and a $50 gas card as well.” Nice smile again, as if she knows that $50 gas card won’t begin to fill up MSS’ Sherman Tank’s tank.
“How nice!” MSS smiles right back. “(deleted), did you say? Sorry I don’t recall that survey specifically.” MSS takes a lot of surveys.
Ms Telephone Sales Seems to Have Trouble Thinking on her Feet
“What day was this?” MSS inquires politely.
“All you have to do is sign on to our website at http://(yadda-yadda-sis-boom-bah).com,” telephone sales smiley voice continues as if MSS had said nothing. “It’ll take just about two, maybe three minu-”
MSS smiles broadly and gently hangs up the telephone sales receiving device.
My dear Ms. Prerecorded Telephone Sales Call. Please feel free to call back once you have mastered the art of answering questions after I’ve asked them. Or better yet, in the face of burgeoning unemployment, rapidly rising costs, uncertain political futures and state-level bankruptcy… next time you call me, call me maybe with a human.
Always smile. That’s Mizz Snarkity Snark’s motto.
Much love to each of you. I mean it. Even Ms. Prerecorded Sales Message, almost good enough to fool MSS for an entire 45 seconds.