Open Letter to Politicians Who Did Not Inhale

did not inhale

Dear Politician of unnamed political party, platform, stump & etc.:

did not inhale

did not inhale, honest

Mizz Snarkity Snark, being of no recognized political orientation whatsoever and playing no role in the government of any city, state, province or nation except that of concerned citizen, and certainly no Prohibitionist of any cloth, respectfully begs you to consider your response to the following question with the greatest of care:

Did you inhale?

Please answer either yes or no.

If your answer is no: You’ve disqualified yourself from serving in any federal, state or local public office, for you appear to be on a dangerously casual friendship with the truth. In fact, sir, you could be construed to be barely acquaintances of the Veritas Citizen.

not this weed

did not inhale this either

In this case, you may have been too far under the influence of whatever it was that you were “not inhaling” to recognize that inhalation falls outside of your control at certain times (like when you’re asleep).

To wit: If you had taken a large amount of oxygen into your mouth yet forgotten to inhale it, when you did remember to take said substance into your lungs, whatever was mixing into that substance would automatically be brought into your lungs as well, also known as “inhaling.”

If your answer is Yes: Congratulations. You have a better acquaintance with the truth than most of your political-minded compatriots and a far better chance of receiving my vote than they.

Good day, sir[1].

Much love to you all. Stay safe, dry and happy.


[1] Yes, that says “sir.” Women are far too intelligent enough to have denied inhalation in the first place, if applicable.