To Todd Akin, Extraterrestrial, re Legitimate Rape

Todd Akin, 109th Congress Photo
Todd Akin, 109th Congress Photo

Todd Akin, R-MO, Honorary Extraterrestrial

Well you know, people always want to try to make that as one of those things, well how do you, how do you slice this particularly tough sort of ethical question. First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.

Mizz Snarkity Snark is proud to award Mister Todd Akin with an Honorary Extraterrestrial Award and welcome him (it?) to Planet Earth. This planet is inhabited by a mixture of species, including Homo sapiens, which you indicated you may have met by now.

Of immediate note is the female of said Homo sapiens species is not, as you seem to have assumed, capable of mentally controlling the reproductive process under conditions including (as you put it) “legitimate rape.”

Pertaining to Future Mentions of “Legitimate Rape”

As MSS is also a female of said Homo sapiens species, MSS does not hesitate to recommend, dear Honorary Extraterrestrial and obviously a new visitor to this planet we call Earth, to keep your own counsel regarding this highly sensitive subject. To discuss the topic of “legitimate rape” openly and with members of Homo sapiens of either gender is to invite trouble and ridicule, as many will not recognize your newcomer status to our planet.

Please, let someone of authority know how long you plan to stay. Our leadership may want to discuss the ramifications.

Much love to each of you. Seriously. Maybe not so much the Honorary Extraterrestrial though. I’ll think about it.